Wookey Press

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NEW WOOKEY HOLE WITCH ANNOUNCED

The New Wookey Resident Witch is to be Carla Calamity, formerly an Estate Agent from Shepton Mallet in Somerset.

Wookey Witch Profile

Carla Calamity is a friendly Witch with a mischievous nature, she loves sneaking up on children and cackling, she lives in the caves and loves to chant. “Stinky slimy slithering hissy, father Bernard you’re just a great big sissy”. She’s a Witchy fashionista and wears sparkles, stripes and anything glittery mesmerises her and makes her cackle even more.

Hair: Fair and as long as Father Times beard
Eyes: Piercing blue with circus trained spiders acting as eyelashes
Nails: Long, spooky & green.
Transport: Model 4, turbo boost customised, crystal sat nav
Wand: Cherry tree with amber, crystal and dream catcher

Interesting Witchy Facts

• 3124 applications have posted out in the last 3 weeks
  
• Thousands of email downloads
  
• 278 mother in laws have been put forward
  
• 23 letters of complaint have been received from church / religious groups
  
• 840 applications forms have been posted abroad.
  
• 401 male witches have been sent a application
  
• 14 spells have been put on us by disgruntled witches.
  
• 890 Witch applications we deemed unsuitable for under 18 years to view.
  
• 4 witch’s have pulled out due to swine flue
  
• 1 London Banker applied